The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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