btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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