we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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