I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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