I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
