I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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