Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
