oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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