you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
