when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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