plz talk dirty to me
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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