Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize