we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
