I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
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