Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
