therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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