.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
