Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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