i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Who died my cat blue again?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
