And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
