so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
