I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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