It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
