Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester

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(563): View more from Iowa

Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.

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(713): View more from Texas

I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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(315): View more from New York

Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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(406): View more from Montana

I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.

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