What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.