so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
