You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
