Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
