You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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