she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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