Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Drake has all the answers
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
A+ Viking dick
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
