So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
