I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
