My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
