it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shame - the story of my life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
