Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
