tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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