the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
