My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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