I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize