The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
