GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
