what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
