i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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