Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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