Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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