Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
worst night to have a conscience
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
