Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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