My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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