i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
