Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
