i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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