Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
