Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
