make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
