I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We don't watch enough power rangers
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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