SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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