I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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