ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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